i don't run servers at all, not on this machine. i thought malware, and ill try bytes again, but im pretty sure it made no difference last time i tried it.How about the "Details" tab sorted by Memory?
Your 1st screenshot of the user account using 1.6GB seems normal. Likewise your 2nd screenshot showing all the processes under your user account seems fine too.
My guess is you have some system service consuming all the memory. My initial guess would be a SQL server instance, otherwise possibly something with a memory leak, or maybe even malware.