but if anyone knows where I might look for a wired 100% vanilla 104 key with 0 extra functions or knobs on a nice solid metal frame I'd love to know.
I actually did look at them as I mentioned somewhere in here I thought. I did entertain them for a minute but there was something I just didn't quite like
Check out the F104 Compact and F104 Classic. Both are wired and feature metal cases with a good old US ANSI layout, or one of any other layout they have options for, but you sound like you want US ANSI.